Fic Rec Fridays 2020 - part 26

EreBORED (1836 words) by jezebel_rising
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Characters: Bilbo Baggins, Thorin Oakenshield, Thorin's Companions
Additional Tags: Drug Use, Fluff and Crack, no really this is just total crack, kink meme fill

Summary:

From the prompt: Having a huge, shiny hoard is all lovely, but somehow, Smaug isn't your typical dragon. After snoozing on that glimmering pile of gold for 60 years, he starts growing increadibly BORED! So when a troop of dwarves and a hobbit show up at his backdoor, this provides some desperately needed entertainment as well as a way of getting the hell out of that hideous mountain without entirely losing his face.

Warning: drug use/imagery and pure, total crack. I'm not kidding. This is the crackiest thing I've ever written. IDEK, people. I really don't.

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So this is a fic-length pipe-weed joke. That’s it, that’s the story.

The reason I keep coming back to this is Smaug’s wonderfully salty (and terminally bored) POV. Also orcs with pickles (I told you this was silly). And more importantly, no dragons were harmed in the making of this ficlet, which is a rare treat in this fandom (and I’m a generally dragon-sympathetic reader).

Anyway, it’s weekend, time to put your feet up and have a story and some cake, with or without any special spice ;)